Saturday, November 20, 2010
An ugly truth. A clean break up. No longer be together anymore. People who don't treasure me, no point treasuring them. Just fuck off. Sad, disappointment? Nah, Qiu Ning stay strong. Want to play two-time? Karma will fall on you. Please take a mirror and look at yourselves? Accompany me everyday so? A goodnight message to me on the other hand message another? Hoho thanks ah, i remember someone told me, he's not like other guys who fan jian? I think all along i am keeping one time bomb with me. Hoho everything is over. Good luck and continue fat hope thinking you can two time other girls in the future. Hope you've got a "blissful" marriage ok. Don't let karma find you. :) Good luck. I ain't bad hearted, just being kind hearted to let you know. Play more girls, see in the end what you've got. Ok? Take care dude.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Why suddenly sees me blogging?
Once I am blogging, you will know I am having problems.
Everytime I have trouble or problems to face, the only thing I can thrash everything out is
MY BLOG. I can express well by blogging and typing it down.
Now i finally understand one phrase that i should say it's really true.
: " A leopard will never changed it's spots. "
Indeed, the leopard is me. I am a devil.
I have understand why in my previous relationship, it's a failure.
Because of my fucking attitude. Sometimes i know i am in the wrong,
but i just wouldn't admit it. I stick to what i think i am ALWAYS RIGHT!
I don't blame the first guy for leaving me, it's the consequences that i have to bare.
Although after the first one left me, i told myself,
after this failed relationship, i need to treasure the second one.
Ya i did treasure the second one for the first 6 months.
But..... it turned out to be the same. I am ill treating him.
Some small matter, no matter i also want to get angry with him.
I don't know why, might be because i always like bully guys who treats me good.
Like i said, even i said before i want to treat my future boyfriend good,
but
leopard will never changed it's spots, now i really realise that this sentence,
is PERFECT for me.
Seriously i don't deserved a boyfriend who care and treats me good.
Whoever is with me, will suffer.
Even my parents told me before, if i don't change my attitude,
no guys will be able to tolerate my nonsense.
Well i guess it's true, i seriously can't change myself to suit another.
I am already trying, but my short temper makes it even worse.
Sometimes i really HATED myself for being myself.
I am getting bad to worse.
So you don't have to treasure such a girl like me.
I am not a good girlfriend.....
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
Today suppose to be a happy day, gathering with yuan shan and hauyee,
@ crystal jade xiao long bao which is located at holland V.
But it turns out bad, real damn bad.
As usual had a big argument with him again.
Why everytime when meeting out with my friends,
there will sure be arguments. I really feel so so so awkward towards my friends.
I am so sorry to cause all these trouble infront of you guys.
Quarrels spoilt my mood therefore i do not really have mood to chat with them.
Yet my boyfriend says that I am laughing happily and not caring him at all.
i felt very nonsense. He doesn't even try to understand me and all he knows is
to think for himself. Not considering my feelings when i am with my friends.
Obviously i can't show my friends black face like as if they are the ones who makes
me angry, am i right? I know who to smile at and who not to.
I got my own ways of handling things.
If you are not the one who makes me angry, of cause i won't give you a black face.
Somehow i am really really sad and disappointed that he shout at me ONCE again,
After hauyee and yuan shan left.
This time round i cried again, after they left. I have been trying to hold my tears
already when i am at the restaurant.
I cried so hard even my eyes are swollen now.
Although now we have forgive each other, but my heart still hurts.
Really hurts. Hurt? Cause he did not keep his promise by not shouting at me.
I hope that there won't be next time. I am really sick and tired,
I am not sure how long can i hold on this relationship,
if all this still continues. Promise to me, is a very important thing,
that makes me trust or not to trust a person.
Once a promise is broken. Trust is all shattered.
Bits and pieces...... How long will it takes to recover? I have no idea.
Anyway, sorry to my buddies that i have spoilt their good day too.
Good night.
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Hy just left my house...... I am feeling so down right now. YA RIGHT NOW!Although I try to stay calm and cool infront of her. But I feel like crying out to her.I keep forced myself to relax while talking with her. I know she knows how i feel,just that she keep chatting with me to divert my mind. Without her, no one could advice me what to do. Am I in the wrong or am i not? Why can't his mother gets to know me well.Instead of getting along with me, no matter what i do, is wrong wrong WRONG! I am on the phone with him and talking with him and not her. What for she join in the conversation and critised me? Although i know she is talking to her son, but she is indirectly pin point at me. Saying out loud so that i can hear what she is talking. When i heard what she said to him, my tears just drop. Ya maybe she is not my friend nor kin. But i am just hurt that my partner's mum critised me. If she is nobody to me, i won't even give a damn about her. Why i am so angry and pissed? Because she is his MOTHER! If she is not his mother i will have already FUCKED her upside down. But what to do? i have to tolerate. I have told him, since his mum don't like me, what for being together? We won't be happy in the end. Unless his mum give us her blessing. I have been trying to give in to his mum, whenever i sees her, i will greet and show mannerism to her. What's more she want? Is it a break up can make her feel happy so that she can keep her son with her? Isn't that selfish? Another thing which he came clear to me that he used an excuses that he mum fall so that he could not fetch me back from work to home, instead he can only meet me at my house there straight. He says that actually the truth is that he argue with his mum about me. Why so much trouble and effort to lie to me again! I am freaking disappointed although i know it's a white lie....... All i want is the truth of everything and stop making up stories so i can feel sorry and pity for you. Please tell your mum that, I asked you to swear is because of the things you did. Make me do this. And it's not my fault for being like this. In order for me to trust you I only have this way and you are the one who say that you will do whatever it takes to let me believe in you again. But did you or not. You lied once again. I hate liars. You can tell me it's white lies but when things became big, it will no longer be white lies. Understand?
Friday, December 18, 2009
Have been long long time since i update my blog.
Writting this post is to let me release my stress i have these few days.
It has been accumulated in my heart i feel like i am bursting out real soon.
I feel so stress, so tired.........
Haven't been in good terms with my boyfriend this few days.
What's more? His temper, his attitude is all coming out.
I really hate it! Now, little things can make him burst out on me.
Shouting at me right infront of the public where people are looking at us,
IT DAMN LOUD TILL THE PEOPLE SHOPPING STOPPED AND LOOK! ATMOSPHERE SILENT...
showing me faces and sorts. I am really pissed off.
Pissed till i only have one thinking, "break off".
I already have zero tolerance on people who shout at me.
Yet a boyfriend doesn't understand what I want.
Thou i know he treats me good, but sometimes i really can't tolerate the way he treats me.
Ups and Downs, tired.... really tired.....
Seems like things work out for now and he promised me that he won't shout at me again.
But is it true? I asked myself. Will he do it again?
I've told him, I am the person who i hate people shouting at me.
One more time, I will leave. Not because i don't love you anymore.
Cause i am being forced to do so. And you FORCED me.
The shadow of Victor seems to be back from him.
It makes me feel damn scared.. damn damn scared..........
Why i said that, it's cause the both of them can't control their emotion well.
I already have the fobia there.
I just feel like crying out loud. I ain't as strong as some of my friends,
although i might look happy-go-lucky to my friends,
comes to relationship, i am weak.
Friendship is not smooth as well as my relationship. I don't know what the fuck is going on.
Hy will be leaving in approx 2 months time.
I will have one less buddy whom i can confide to.
I really feel so stress.......Typing all this post with my tears dropping non-stop.
Who can tell me what to do?
I am a failure in everything.
A TOTAL FAILURE.....
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wee~ Friday! Off day for the weekends!:)
2 more days and it will be OUR 1 YEAR 3 MONTHS anniversary:)
Although I know to a lot of people, it's not consider as long.
But well I am happy that we are still together now.
His caring his love his concern, is enough:)
Anyway happy advance anniversary.
I know i haven't been treating him well,
always attitude, show faces and get angry for small matters.
Sometimes really feel guilty that he have to tolerate all my nonsense.
Thanks for being so understanding although sometimes you scolded me back.
Last but not least, I am sorry for my attitude all these. Hope you won't mind=p
Anyway,........
Tomorrow meeting my boyfriend, so have to sleep early=p
GOOD NIGHTS!!
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Recently started work at Aljunied as Admin Coordinator.
The boss and the workers there are quite nice just like a family.
Although all aunties and uncles, but still alright.
I just do finish my work everyday and home sweet home.
Have been working since 28th Oct, 3 days.
And guess what, I got my PAY! LOL!
So shoik huh. Today got the urge to blog cos something happen.
Went Carrefour at Suntec City with my sista Hauyee.
While waiting for my Boyfriend there, we saw the Halloween Corner,
so me and her decided to go there and play with the props and masks.
We only play and took pictures for a few mins,
then a stupid fucked up uncle talk to us in a xia lan attitude,
"HAVE YOU GET WHAT YOU WANT?"
At first i find it no harm, so i just answer " No need".
After that i think and think and realised that he is actually showing us attitude.
What a fucking bad service! So we don't care him and walk to the other side.
Who knows he come to us and repeated the same question again.
This time round he say us, YOU ALL HAVE BEEN PLAYING FOR HOURS.
Then HY started to shoot him back, " Did we play for HOURS? We only come here for few mins." At that moment I just kept quiet.
Then HY ask me continue to play, don't care him.
After that he continue to say us, " Don't feel shame on yourselves for playing here."
Suddenly damn ANGRY, I just shout at him, " IF YOU NOT HAPPY THEN DON'T WORK!
OTHER PEOPLE PLAYING YOU NEVER SAY THEM YOU SAY US."
Then he mumble to himself and started to take photos of HY.
I started to shout at him again, " YOU BETTER STOP TAKING PHOTO OF US."
and point my fingers at him. At that point of time all the people looking at us.
After that my boyfriend came. I told him that the uncle took photo of us.
WAH HE EVEN MORE HOT THAN ME! STRAIGHT AWAY SHOUTED AT HIM.
CARREFOUR TURN SILENT. PEOPLE WATCHING SHOW-.-!
At first we already wanted to leave but he still taking photo of us.
My boyfriend suddenly just let go of my hand, shout and walk towards him.
I faster chased up wanted to stop him as i am afraid that he might punch the uncle.
After that he shout finish his words and i just pulled him away.
The fucking pervert uncle still showed his phone to us and grinned at us.
CB KIA. Scold him still not scared sibei xia lan.
First time ever I quarrel with a stupid people in the public.
REALLY THROW MY FACE.
NEVERMIND FORGET IT. Anyway, most importantly enjoy the day
with my sista HY and of course my BOYFRIEND:)
