Thursday, September 27, 2007
what the fuck?now i am kinda moody after quarreling with somebody.
is not i am unreasonable that i wanted to find something to quarrel with him.
do you think i like to quarrel?no way!
i hate quarreling with people.i like peace.
is not that i wanted to hurt your pride ok?
if you hadn't complain so much about this and that,
will i so be fucked up?that makes me wanna hurt your pride?
it's never a single day that i won't heard complains from you.
you are never a day well enough.
play awhile of games, you say yours eyes pain and feels giddy.
if that's the case, you should jolly well know your limits.
if you can't play games for too long, just say so.
i won't even eat you up.if you think you are tired,and should stop playing games,say so.
this is not the first time i hear all this from you.
a lot of times, i have been hearing from you saying that, you felt giddy,headache or whatever shits.
then why forced yourself ?
you knew very well that my talking way is a little harsh to you.
saying that you are weak,"ahgua",useless or whatever.
if i never harsh to you,will you be able know your limits?
and do you ever know, whenever you told me all this, i felt so worried?
being harsh to you, is meant for your own good. so that you can go rest.
but you didn't know my intention.
instead of this, you add in another word useless to describe yourself when i didn't even say that.
you think i am saying you useless but i am not.
i want you to know your limits well.
if u can't do it then don't forced yourself to do it.
can you please understand.
and when you always like that, i feel so fucked up.
so definitely i will be angry with you.
but then after that, what did you do?
you keep thinking why i treat you like that. all this all that.
then you told me you can't remember your names all this shit.
ALL THIS IS TOTALLY SHIT!
i fucking don't believe all this kind of things.
is not that you have a knock on your head badly that makes you can't remember who you are.
i know that you saying all this is want me to put all my focus on you.
want me to show more concern instead of angry with you.
if you really can't remember you name,
then i suggest, you should go for a mental health check.
if you really got mental problem. then i can understand why you can't remember your name.
but since you don't have mental problem,i don't see a reason for you can't remember your own name.
all this are all nonsense!
don't keep using all this kind of excuses for me to pity you or make me not angry with you.
i really hate it.
don't say i never remind you,
if you keep finding all sorts of nonsense excuses,or even trying to do something foolish,by making me not angry with you,instead of worrying for you,
don't blame me from drifting further away from you!i am serious.
stop using all this to bluff and threaten me.
sometimes i felt so stressed, that you might really do foolish things.
i felt that i should stay further away from you.
but i can't. i have feelings too.
i hate people whose thinking are so damn immature and so unrealistic.
please,get a life. stop living in your dream.
and can you, please stop lying and bluffing or even threatening me(like suicide,holding your breathe and etc), just because you wanted me to stay by your side?
making me feel guilty?makes you happy?is that your love for me like this?
i really wanted to know....the real answer....
Friday, September 21, 2007
Well,today it's a fun day and it's also a "scary" day for me.
today me and my friend went ttsh to see him,cause he was having an operation for his throat.
it's some extra meat in his throat which makes him can't breathe properly. and blocking his airway.
it's better recommended for him to remove it asap, to prevent it from getting bigger in the future.
but since i thought that it has been like that since he was young,
i wouldn't recommend him to go for this operation,since operation will have some risk.
i don't want him to take any risk.
but since he told me it's getting bigger,my thinking have changed.
feels that it might benefits him for this operation.but same time worried for him.
when he went in the operation theater,i was quite scared he might not make it through.
so after that me and my friend went to eat and shop while waiting for him to be out.
after shopping for 2hrs plus,thinking that since his mum didn't message me that he's out.
we decided to went back to the hospital to check it out.
when we reached,my friend helped me ask the nurse there,whether he is out or not.
but he is still not out.we waited at the ward for few hours.but still not out.
seeing some patient being pushed out of the operation theater,hoping it was him in the bed.
2 being pushed out but not a single sign of him.my heart pumped really fast.
waiting and waiting,finally i SAW HIM.YAY!finally a PHEW!he was safe and sound.
at that point of time,i was really glad and happy.
and we faster went in the ward to take a look at him.while my friend contact his mum and told her that her son was out.but where was she?
i heard the nurses told him that his parents have already gone home and only will come back to bring him back tomorrow.
i was like,HUH?how can they just went home like that?when their son isn't out of the operation?
aren't they at least worried about him?for being in the operation for such a long time?
why is there such a parents?some more he is the only son?didn't they cared for him?
what kind of a parent are they?even me,can't just walk away when he isn't out,being so worried that something bad might happen.(but thank goodness,he was fine)how can they do this?they should at least STAYED with him until he is out.
but when i see him able to move his hand and play around,i was pretty glad:)
but at the same time,seeing him in pain and couldn't talk makes me feel sad.
but so long as you are fine,i am glad:)
hope you recover fast,we can go out together again.
i just loved being together with you,protecting me,letting me making me happy and etc.THANKS for everything you did for me,i really appreciate it.in my heart,i really know you did a lot of things for me.I REALLY KNOW IT!
haha,anyway rest well ok?you will be missed by me.
ok enough of this.
after that went marina to have dinner with my "long time no meet"good friends,for gathering with the 2 of them,such a long time never see them.
haha,after all these years,they are still the same.no changed.they are still as humor as before.
maybe too long never meet them,it feels quite strange while talking.cause the topic is quite different than before.but overall,still get to chat quite a lot.quite fun gathering with only the 4 of us.after bloated our stomach,we went home.haha.anyway a fun day with you guys.a memorable day:D
-my little secret mysteries-
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
without love,there's no promise.
without promise,there's no love.
it's the same for love and promise.
why promise a person,
when you knew you won't be able to keep it?
why love a person,
when you keep breaking a promise towards them?
i hate it,when a person promised me something,
and "that" person not able to keep the promise.
then what's the point?
it's not that i FORCED "that" person to promise me.
i had asked lots of times,whether "that" person can keep the promise anot.
end up?it became my fault!
lol huh?
for making "that" person falling sick or whatever.
yea yea,my fault ok?
for making YOU to promise me such a stupid PROMISES.
and giving me an empty promises.
last,giving me such a FUCKING attitude!
so if YOU think YOU can't even keep a simple promise,
STOP promising me k?
i appreciate it.
i won't be angry if YOU tell me that YOU can't promise me that,
but at least u didn't promise right?
so i won't be angry.
then now what?
always become my fault after quarrel.
what the FUCK is THIS.
can't take this nonsense and shit that YOU gave me.
and ya,it's my "fault"!sorry!i know you will feel happy this way.
PISSED OFF!-my little secret mysteries-
