Monday, February 16, 2009
HELLO! So long didn't had the chance to blog already. Hee. Kinda busy with work and stuff.
Valentines Day just past not long ago. Although didn't get to spend it with my lawrence on the day itself, we already celebrate it in advance. Actually not only on Valentines then we can be more loving or whatsoever, to a couple, everyday is a Valentine to them, but it's just that it's a more special day. But to me, every moment spend together is more than anything else. BIG THANKS FOR THE CARD YOU MADE, REALLY APPRECIATE IT. Although it's not flowers or what. Just felt happy to get to see him once a week, though it's quite little since the both of us working. I have to understand that. Time to us is very precious. Whenever we are together, time always past very fast. But i can't do anything about that. Sometimes I really don't know why my attitude towards him so sucks. It's not his fault at all and he didn't even do anything bad to me. I think it's just my own attitude for being so fucked up. Sometimes i just pity him have to endure with my nonsense and sorts. Hais. Yesterday just told him i don't have the feeling that i am in love, i know it really hurts to hear this. Sometimes i think back, i am the 1 who never show him much love at all. Inspite he never said this kind of things to me, that i am not showing him any love. I think most of the problems lies with me and not him. I felt so bad. And whats more is he actually blame himself for not showing much love to me, and saying sorry to me. I should be the 1 saying sorry. Really feels bad. It's been six month we've been together. I want to last long with him, but i don't have the faith in it. Maybe from my past experience which makes me lose confidence in relationships. I am real real sorry, to stress you up, and making you feel that you are not a good boyfriend but actual facts is that i am not a good girlfriend to you.
But i wanna tell you is that, i love you, i wanna last long with you, i need lots of your care and loves. That's all.
